The Ties That Bind

For some reason I woke up wicked early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.
It’s Saturday and I woke up bright eyed at 7:30am.
Unacceptable.
I went into the kitchen to retrieve my lighter that I had left on the stove the night before so I could smoke my good morning cigarette.
I heard the [...]

Irreconcilable Differences

Ever since my computer started hanging out with Limewire, I’ve noticed my computer has had a change in friends, is lazy and irrational, spends more time alone and has bloodshot eyes on a regular basis.
A few nights ago, my computer decided for the last time that it didn’t want to do what I was asking [...]

Boyfriend & Girlfriend: A Knowing Conversation

(This post is a serendipitous third installment of the “The Mace, The Axe and The Crowbar: A Love Story” series. If you are not familiar with the story, read it jerk. Everyone in the world thinks it is a great read.)
In hopes of making a long story short:
The former love of my life –the girl [...]

Global Warming: Explained By Some Jerk Who Has No Idea What He’s Talking About.

Forget everything you’ve ever heard about the causes of global warming.
Hole in the ozone? EPA? My ass.
I don’t know anything about this subject, but the following is common sense if you have a middle-school education.
This is my well uninformed opinion–
Omitting several technicalities:1)Gravity exists.
2)Earth is within the Sun’s gravitational pull, thus Earth is always moving closer [...]

Put Me In, Coach

For those of you that don’t know, I am a part-time poker dealer in NYC. I run all kinds of games ranging from your company Christmas party — to underground high stakes Wall Street games — to your run of the mill casino themed bar mizvah.
My agent(yeah, some part-time poker dealers have agents) called me [...]

I Always Miss the Good Stuff

How does this happen? I don’t get it.
I spent the first 19 years of my life in a part of the Midwest called Tornado Alley. Tornadoes are a dime a fucking dozen down there. I never actually saw one though. Several tornadoes a year for nearly twenty years and I never ever got to see [...]

One Man’s Crack is Another Man’s Beer

If the guy on last night’s “Intervention” on A&E would have substituted “crack” with “beer” in his following quote, he would be my best friend.
“I am always thinking about crack. I dream about crack. I want some right now.”-the guy, “Intervention”, A&E Network
Brilliant.
I feel you, brother. Cheers. (*clink*) Whoa, don’t burn yourself.

Fourth of July

Re: The Declaration of Independene
Dear Britain:
Ha!
Best regards,
Ryan

Buy this CD or you will be sorry.

(Click to enlarge)My girlriend may or may not be the bass player for this band. The CD is in stores nationwide and you need one to make your days happy. Pick up a copy or order one online.
It will make you smile.
Check out the official Columbia Records website: http://www.SusanCagle.com
As seen on MTV’s “You Hear It [...]