Now This Is Good Advertising

I took this picture on the Upper West Side a few weeks ago.
(Click image to enlarge)

Your Telephone Procedures: They Are Incorrect

I loath when people do following:
*my cell phone rings*
Me: Hello?
Idiot: Who’s this?
Me: You called me. Who is this?
Idiot: *click*
If you are one of these idiots, you need to revise your procedures.
When telephoning someone, it is imperative that you identify yourself at the very beginning of the conversation. You may then choose to name the party [...]

Back On The Scene, Know What I Mean?

Today is a good day to be on my blogroll. Reddit.com picked up one of my stories (a guest post, actually) and I’ve already gotten over 5,000 hits today, before noon. Enjoy until the milk runs out, pups.

Do What I Say

I found a blog today that is all about people writing stories in exactly six sentences. There, I found one of the best (see: like a punch in the gut) pieces of writing I have read since I can remember, and it’s only six sentences long.
Take a moment to check out Blind Date by [...]

Anybody Home?

I’m working an awesome temp job this week, but I’m a little worried about the guy I’m filling in for. First of all, he is taking the week off because his mother died. That is sad. I will not joke about that.
But.
The sticky note that is stuck to his monitor that reads,
“I AM [...]

Holy Hangover, Batman!

I was in a particularly foul mood this morning for my subway commute as I had a scorching hangover. Certainly, I was in no mood for the overzealous subway preacher than entered my car and began to scream about some nonsense regarding how he used to be a crackhead and the lord saved his life, [...]

I’m Fired.

It is official. I have been fired from a great job because of this blog.
I have been working for a nameless worldwide intelligence and investigation firm for the past couple weeks. They specialize in white-collar crime intelligence/investigation and business security. If I told you who they were, I’d have to kill you.
12:00p, Friday:
I checked [...]

This Really Happens

A story from work the other night:
Sometimes I work nights as a poker dealer. My boss’s name is Mike.
Me: Hey, Mike! C’mere for a second.
Boss: Yeah?
Me: Who’s the new girl?
Boss: Which one?
Me: The hot one setting up that blackjack table.
Boss: Which one?
Me: The one in the corner.
Boss: That’s my daughter…
Me: (silent)
Boss: …and she’s sixteen.
Me: [...]

MySpace: Telling It Like It Is

[UPDATE: Bianca has responded in the comments section of this post.]As some of you may have seen, I recently found it necessary to put a stop to some atrocious MySpace behavior.
My lovely friend Bianca has a little monkey on her back called “the myspace bulletin”. I swear to god that this chick posts no less [...]

No, I Am Not Dead

Sorry for slacking lately, everyone.
I haven’t felt like writing lately.
No reason really, just haven’t felt like it.
I’ll be back soon.
You can read the other blogs listed in my sidebar in the meantime.

Shhh! Don’t Talk To Me.

I went to Scruffy Duffy’s with my awesome ex-corrections-officer roommate to watch football and drink beer and eat wings and nachos and mozzerella sticks and jalepenos and play pool yesterday. All day. Life really doesn’t get much better than that. I saw a woman that was so drunk that I literally thought she was [...]

Hodge Podge

I hung out with some wicked cool bloggers last weekend. Very fun. Great people.
Speaking of friends:
My best friend is at least 1.5 times the writer that I am. He will be writing a guest post today. Check back, it’s going to be good.
Hold your breath.

Oh, The Humanity

I will be reading about the Seattle Craigslist debacle all day today.
It doesn’t get any better than this, folks.
Some guy named Jason in Seattle put up a fake Craigslist ad posing as a woman looking for some weird sex stuff with a man.
A couple hundred guys responded to Jason’s fake ad with pictures of themselves(some [...]

C.E. O-Yeah!

I start a new freelance job tomorrow working directly for a notorious advertising CEO.
This should be interesting.

Labour Like It’s $19.99

Have a good weekend everyone.
I will.

And we’re back…

I just started a new job today, so I now have access to a computer.
I figure that I should probably not spend my entire first day of work on the internet updating my blog, which is totally what I want to do.
Anyway, hopefully I’ll find some time in the next few days to get [...]

Hang Tight

I’m percolating some new shit.
Oh, and if you haven’t caught on yet, I constantly revise my old posts. If I haven’t written anything new in a while, it’s probably because I’ve been doing re-writes. If there’s a post you haven’t read in a while, read it again because there may some new material tucked in [...]