Shotgun Awakening

When I was 16, concluding the last day of my freshman year of high-school, my car broke down on my drive home from the last day of school. I walked to a friend’s house in the area to use his phone to call my parents to ask them what I should do. I think we [...]

Halloween is coming!

Welcome searchers.
If you’re looking for my post about the ‘Where’s Waldo Costume’, CLICK THIS.
Otherwise. Please continue reading below.

Hey, guess what! There is a good chance that I hate everything you stand for.

When someone looks me square in the face and tells me that they truly believe that the entire human race is inherently evil because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat the wrong apple and if I don’t devote my entire life to a Jewish zombie then I’ll spend eternity burning in [...]

*Paging* Patrick Rubiano… Patrick Rubiano, please pick up the nearest Internets.

Dear Patrick,
Before proceeding, please take a moment to honor your nearest internets for bringing this message to you. My Personal Internets have worked long and hard to ensure that The Google brings my messages to you.
Are you still in Poland? We all miss you and we want to hear from you.
Please respond to me privatley [...]

#iranelection

I encourage computer savvy people to do their part in regards to #iranelection.
You know who you are.
This is your guide: http://tinyurl.com/krjft4

Iranian Election

I’m not saying that I circumvented my ISP in order to serve my extra bandwidth to the Iranian opposition… but I’m not saying I didn’t either.
If I did do this, I’m sure that I would be so proud of my accomplishment that I couldn’t help but boast on my blog.

Vote For Me! My First Photoshop Contest: NYDailyNews.com!

1) Click this.  
2) Vote It As BEST: 
Yesterday, NYDailyNews.com, among others,  suggested that it would have been a better idea for The Whitehouse to photoshop the controversial NY/NJ fly-over of Air Force One(+1) than to actually have the planes… ya know, actually  fly over, unannounced.  (I don’t agreee, but it’s a fun and novel idea in which [...]

Secret Low-Flying Planes in NYC: “Photo-op”, says Whitehouse.

This post is in regards to this news item:  http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/27/low.flying.plane/index.html
As an official of the DoD, how do you explain two F-16s chasing a Boeing 747 through New York City, unannounced, and not cause a lasting panic?
Claim it was a “photo-op”.
I’m not sure about the aerial photos but the scene on the ground was an iconic [...]

Getting In (Blogging) Shape

Toward the end of my tenure at my former place of employment, I contacted a gym in the area about taking a tour and getting a trial membership. The gym was right down the street from my office, so it would have been convenient.
I got laid off from my job before I had a chance [...]

Wherein I Remember That I Have a Blog

I haven’t written anything on this site, my formerly world famous blog, for about six months now. Explanation to follow:
About six months ago, I landed a really great job on which I was hellbent on excelling and keeping.
With the kind of trouble this blog has brought me in the past, I decided it best to [...]

My Halloween Costume: Part III

As promised in Part I and Part II of this post, here is a few pictures of me in my Waldo costume.
 

 
 

My Halloween Costume: Part II

In Part I of this post, I showed you the materials I would be using to make my Halloween costume. I let the readers take guesses as to what I would be. Reader Amber, with lightning quickness, correctly guessed that I would be Waldo from “Where’s Waldo?”  
My costume was a smash hit. I hung out [...]

My Halloween Costume: Part I

Today, I acquired the necessary materials for this year’s Halloween costume. What’s great is that I only spent $4.97 and I am certain that I will be a serious contender for “Best Costume”. 
Here’s the breakdown:

Thermal Shirt (white): $1.99
Stocking Cap (white):  $0.99
Duct Tape (red):          $1.99
Blue Jeans:                 [...]

Staten Island: Not Helping Themselves

I’ve decided that I’m going to actively pursue getting a license to operate a motorcycle in New York State and elsewhere. More about that later.
I came across this ad for a motorcycle on Craigslist today which at first I thought must be a joke. Upon subsequent readings, I’m pretty sure it’s authentic. God help Staten Island. [...]

IRS: The Mixup

As mentioned in my previous post, the IRS recently got in touch with me about some “substantial unreported income” from my 2005 Federal Return. This made me extremely nervous.
I called the IRS immediately to try to fix the situation. I was like Chunk from “The Goonies” with my hand halfway in the blender, ready to [...]

Wherein I Face My Demons

I got a letter in the mail today. The letter was from the Internal Revenue Service, the IRS. I wondered why they might be contacting me.
Maybe they were making a donation because they’re fans of my blog. Maybe it was a late arriving holiday card. Maybe it was a “Thank You note” for… well, for just being [...]

RNC: Sarah Palin’s Speech

What kind of drugs did they use to knock out Sarah Palin’s baby? If you know, please tell me. I want some. There is no possible natural way, Corky Disease or not, that a baby could sleep through that many raucous repetitions of “Drill, baby, drill!” 
Just sayin’.

Tennis Lessons

I played tennis today for the first time since I was seven years old. I learned the following three things:

I am not good at playing tennis.
If you smoke cigarettes(I do, unfiltered), playing tennis will damn near kill you.
Do not drink an entire quart of milk just minutes before playing tennis.

Olympic Observations: The Extended Live Weblog

[FOREWORD: This list is essentially an extended live-blog. Check back often for frequent updates.]
I, in tandem with my trusty DVR, am attempting to watch every single minute of the 2008 Olympic coverage across NBC, CNBC, MSNBC and USA Network in order. This is around 36 hours of footage per day. This undertaking should be an [...]

Life Lesson: Strippers -vs.- Regular Girls

At my buddy’s bachelor party this weekend, I learned an important lesson about the difference between strippers and regular girls.
(Scene: Interior. A popular strip club in Manhattan, NYC):
A stripper is sitting on my lap and grinding her lady-parts onto my man-parts. I’ve heard the kids call this a lap-dance.  Being the gentleman that I am, [...]