Girlfriend: Your Contract is Under Review

-To: My Girlfriend
-Re: Your repeated attempts to cuddle while watching Ultimate Fighting Championship

Dear Girlfriend:

Have you ever been to a movie theatre to watch a movie that you were totally excited about, and then the big moment of the movie came and it really hit home with you and you started to cry? Then some jerk two rows back started laughing because he thought that that part of the movie was particularly ridiculous and deserving of his dismissive laughter? Did you feel like he just spat on what was supposed to be a great experience in your life?

Think about that, please.

This letter is intended to serve as a formal notice that it is absolutely not acceptable for you to attempt any sort of cuddling while I am watching Ultimate Fighting Championship. It is expected that from the date of this notice that you will adjust your actions accordingly and that there will be no further incidents.

Thanks in advance, and I look forward to improving our working relationship.

Best regards,

Your Boyfriend

Advertisements

4 Responses

  1. Haha– nice. Good luck with that, sir.

  2. i wouldn’t dare cuddle with a man watching something like ultimate fighting…might get an elbow in the eye or something!

  3. I’m surprised she would be in the same room with you while you were watching something as crappy as Ultimate Fighting Championship. Do you really watch Ultimate Fighting Championship?

  4. athens rivers,

    Yes, fruit boots, I really do watch Ultimate Fighter.

    I see that you’re new to the blog game so I’m going to let you slide this one time without thoroughly emabarrasing you for the whole world to see.

    Watch your tone in the future or I will make you cry.

    Believe me, you don’t want to get me started on your shitty webcomic.

    Clear?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: