Movin’ On Up

Like Gershwin, things are looking up.

There is an old-time gambling legend that lives in Texas, a man named Amarillo Slim. Amarillo Slim used to brag that he was so famous that you could send a letter from anywhere in the country addressed only to “Amarillo Slim in Texas” and the letter would find him. Tall tale? Maybe not.

In my never ending quest for global domination, I have taken a huge step. According to Google, I am the most relevant and/or important person named “Ryan” in all of Washington Heights, NYC.

Don’t believe me?

Google search: ryan in washington heights

Yeah, that’s right. You found me.

Numero uno, bitches!

Also just as exciting, I am now the top result for Google search: pissed and petty. I know you’re thinking that that should have happened a long time ago, but Tom Petty wasn’t giving up the top spot easily.

Also, readers, you may want to run a google search for: Pat Kachura

Yep, number one again(and two)! Poor Pat. Poor, poor Pat. It can’t feel good knowing that if anyone ever runs a search on you, my rantings are the first things they’re going to see. Ouch!

I have now thoroughly owned Ice-T, Washington Heights, Tom Petty, and Pat Katchura just to name a few.

Ahhhh, being bad feels goooood.