Announcement: Do Not Eat The Blue Candy

I have watched every season of American Idol, ever. However, in the interest of full disclosure:

In the past, I have tuned out after the first-round auditions, the beginning where they show the really bad auditions, the people that make me laugh until I cry, rewind the DVR, repeat. Then I pause my DVR and shift my eyes aimlessly but usually upward, jaw dropped open, staring at the ceiling in disbelief, trying to truly digest the scope of what I have just seen. Yeah, I’m dramatic like that.

Anyway, I usually take a couple months off to drink scotch and then rejoin the regular programming towards the finals, as I can certainly appreciate a stunning vocal performance. Seriously, that was my major in school and shit, vocal music performance and drama. I even went to a performing arts high school, like “Fame” and shit. No, I really am being serious. Okay, you don’t believe me, whatever, I really am telling the truth.

Moving on.

Talent-wise, I think last night’s episode of American Idol was one of the best of the entire run of the series. The guy that sang “Bohemian Rhapsody”, the Irish chick, Asia, the skunk-hair-girl and that one sixteen-year-old kid who’s so nice that it makes me wonder how I’ve managed to turn into such as asshole at the age of twenty-eight, well, they all really blew me away. Mostly, despite the following final-round contestant’s meltdown, I predict that that the midwestern-emo-brit-kid, this kid who ditched the studio band and fell to pieces when it really counted, he will find his fame and fortune. American Idol or not.

All sentiment aside, and regarding the title of this post:

Who was giving out the blue candy on Day-2? I counted several contestants singing with bright blue tongues. I suspect the big jolly guy who made it to Hollywood with his sister.

[Update: As I suspected, the midwestern-emo-brit-kid got cut and I am standing firm in my prediction that this is not the last you will hear from him. Also, the big jolly guy got cut which convinces me that I’m not the only who suspects him of being the blue candy culprit.]

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2 Responses

  1. Yeah I was rooting for the emo midwestern brit. Kind of like last year when Sundance Head was cut, kind of ruined my week.

  2. This is me watching American Idol:

    Megan: “OMG! That person was soooooo good!”
    Simon: “That was the worst performance in the history of the world.”

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