Things I Remember: The Story Of Last Night, According To A First Person Narrator Who Doesn’t Really Remember Much About Last Night

I met some people at a bar. We drank. The people were good. The drink was good.

We went somewhere else, some Japanese thing where you sing popular songs, I don’t know.

I sang a George Michael song. The bathroom had a lot of vomit in it. I vomited because when I see vomit, I vomit. I sang another George Michael song. I reminded myself that I like women. Didn’t George Michael vomit in a bathroom?

I found myself kind of wanting to make out with this one fat guy.

We went somewhere else, a bar which had carpet on the floor.

I left.

I followed some guy from Missouri to a bar to take some sort of pineapple-upside-down shot.

I found myself kind of wanting to make out with this Irish chick.

I left.

I got home and had some quality time with my pineapple-upside-down stomach.

I wouldn’t trade a second of it in return for the world. You guys are awesome.

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7 Responses

  1. Yeah I remember someone from Oklahoma and Ohio complaining about the carpet, and that is about it. If anyone knows how I got home please let me know.

  2. God, I hope I was that fat guy…

  3. The carpet bar RULED!

  4. wait. i thought they were yellow cake shots. weren’t they yellow cake shots?

  5. You vomited?!?!

  6. Ha! Yeah, they were (delicious) yellow cake shots.

  7. @Clinton: (God gives you the nod)

    @Brooklyn Gal: This institution values your opinions and contributions, thus our policy on carpeted bars will be reviewed internally.

    @Jew: No, just a joke. Unless you like that kind of thing. In which case, yeah, I totally vomited.

    @Todd, LikeOMG.org: Again, my memory of this night isn’t so clear.

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