Take that stupid sticker off of your hat. You look ridiculous.
I work in advertising and marketing for major entertainment entities (TV, Film, Radio, etc.) in NYC. It is my job to wear a suit to work in order to dissect patterns of thought relating to modern trends among various demographics and advise companies on how best to exploit utilize these findings to maximize profit, more or less.
Regardless of my suit or my Welsh/German ancestry, many savvy parties have found it appropriate to pick my brain in regards to several various urban marketing strategies. My clients’ feedback and results indicate that I might actually know what I’m talking about. Fuck, I mean, I did stare Ice-T square in his face while he was rollin’ dirty and he didn’t even try to front.
Now that I have sufficiently qualified myself as a man who skips stones across cultural barriers while blindfolded, I feel comfortable admitting that I, in fact, do not know everything about urban culture. Following is a question which has been torturing me for at least five years. I have been asked this exact question by exactly two of my clients:
“Why do urban youth keep the stickers and tags on their hats? Is this something we can use?”
The truth: I have no fucking clue.
What I actually said: “Do you know the Outkast track ‘So Fresh, So Clean’? It’s like that. The freshness of the sticker on a man’s hat is intended to directly reflect a man’s financial security. The freshness of a sticker on a hat has a short shelf life. If a man is consistently seen among his peers with a fresh sticker on his hat, the man is assumed to be financially secure, as he can obviously afford to buy many many hats. This elevates a man’s status among his peers.”
My clients nod maniacally with wide eyes, drooling like they’ve just smelled meat for the first time.
“So, we can really capitalize on this market, right?” they ask.
“Sure,” I said “if you don’t mind your target market paying you with stacks of less-than-fresh stickers attached to perfectly good hats.”
-seriously though, does anyone really know
what the deal is with the stickers on the hats?
[UPDATE: I just found out that the stickers are left on the hat to prove that the hat is genuine, and not a knock off. How fucking stupid is that?]
[UPDATE: Depending on which idiot you ask, there are several other reasons for this. If I were to repeat these reasons, I am certain that my brain would instantly die. Do your own research.]
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