Wherein I Ask For Your Advice, Dear Reader

There is a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment building. The way the apartments are laid out, our bedrooms share a common ventilation shaft.

I have seen this man, late at night, completely naked, pissing out of his bedroom window into the shared ventilation shaft. I have seen this man do this exactly three times. For several obvious reasons, I want him to fucking stop that shit.

There are so many amazing ways in which one could handle this situation, I can’t pick just one. I tried to get pictures the last time I caught him but I didn’t lift the screen on my window, so the pictures didn’t come out.

I think the right way to handle it is to simply approach him, man to man, and just tell him to stop. If he tries to deny it, just inform him that if it happens again, the building super will be informed. End of story.

However, as you might have guessed, I’m not really interested in “the right thing to do” in this situation. The man been making me breath his pee-fumes for christ’s sake.

So. How do we do this? Think big.

Another tale of inappropriate urination practice.


5 Responses

  1. Pictures are the way to go. Post those, along with his apartment number, all over the building and he’ll stop.

  2. Do you think his bathroom is broken? I mean, I understand the need for outdoor peeing if you are stranded in a place with no bathroom (while most likely intoxicated) but in your own home? Maybe he’s anti-toilet? Or a toiletphobe? You should ask him if it’s political or psychological. Or if he’s just a drunken buffoon who doesn’t know how to use the bathroom.

  3. There is the slim chance that a picture will give away your apartment, and he’ll come burn it down with you inside.

    I favor posting a notice in the elevator, in both English and Spanish, reading, “Stop peeing out your window, Mr. 23C, or I will post pics of your unimpressive tinkling wee-wee all over the building.”

    Anonymous. Embarassing. Classy.

  4. @apollocreed: It’s been hard to get good pictures. I got a shot last night, but it needs to be better.

    @brooklyn gal: It’s not a broken bathroom issue. This has been going on for some time. Among my roommates, general consensus is that he is a drunken buffoon.

    @Warren: It’s probably too late to worry about giving away my position, as I’ve already snapped several flash photographs from my bedroom into a dark ventilation shaft. I guarantee you that his wee-wee would be dwarfed by his gut, so you may be onto something.

  5. having watched a man poo in the park, then yelling, “are you crazy?” at him..(no! ya think?) i’m not the one to ask.

    me? i’d take the photo if you can, blow it up, then post it in the shared foyer.

    again, me to bum–”are you crazy?”…oh, and i threw doggy doo bags at him, so, you might want to ignore me.

    he did.

    (totally in the wrong place… effing wordpress)

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