In this article, the University of Rhode Island’s Department of Communications is proud to tell you about their recent URI graduate and starting basketball player who is beginning a marketing career in Manhattan. According to the article, the new grad has accepted an offer from Universal Online Promotions. (UPDATE: Now possibly operating as PolarisNYC.) 

Congratulations, graduate! You just got scammed.

Universal Online Promotions is a borderline multi-level marketing scheme (MLM), similar to a more commonly known Pyramid Scheme, and is operated by a man named Raf (Rafael) Diaz in NYC.

Rafael “Raf” Diaz
Universal Online Promotions, President
(a.k.a. DOUCHEBAG)


Imagine that you are offered a job from this company or individual. You would probably at least do a quick google search before signing on the dotted line, right?

Well, some people aren’t that smart.

Neither URI’s recent grad, in her choosing of a job offer — nor the writers/editors of the University of Rhode Island website bothered to perform google searches on, “Universal Online Promotions” or “Raf Diaz”.  Both queries return damning results.

What does this say about the competence of our  higher education institutions and the products (kids) they produce? 

For the record & On the record:

  • I gave 3-days notice to the University of Rhode Island’s media contact of record, David Lavallee, to amend their article before I wrote this post, as to avoid unnecessary losing of face among their organizational standards in relation to their capacity to ensure their graduate’s success in the modern job market. They have not amended their article nor have they contacted me.
  • I gave Raf Diaz, President of Universal Online Promotions (pictured above) 24-hours notice to contact me before I published this post. He chose not to contact me, despite me receiving a read receipt from my e-mail to him.
  • The student subject of this article whom I easily found on Facebook, did not respond within the 3-day time frame. I have no proof of receipt of communication from her.
  • The President of [redacted], a Cydcor office located in Knoxville, TN, contacted me within the given time frame. Though his interview was less than candid, his name and company name will not be mentioned, as promised, but will be discussed anonymously in later installments.
  • Adam Balsinger’s “Bold Acquisitions” in White Plains, NY is a scam running under the same umbrella.

This is a preliminary article based upon my recent investigations into Cydcor, a seriously fucking evil corporation.

UPDATE: Read the comments for names of other companies who are operating on the same model.


I’m gearing up for the Bike (And Farewell) To Shea Day tomorrow.

It’s going feel great to soak up the sun and put the old lungs to work whilst seeing the city as I haven’t seen it before. I’m really excited. If not about that, then about the fact that I have a perfect reason to wear my bicycle shorts for what they were actually intended.

Face Value

I haven’t taken a close look at my information on a formerly thriving social networking site since the day I built my profile. That being said, at what point did I think it was a appropriate to write the following statement on a publicly available page?:

“Coincidentally, I have the same basic attitude towards watching television that I have towards sex and guns. This is simply, ‘ANYTHING THAT MOVES’.”

Yes, reader. You and I both think that that statement is both poignant and hilarious. — Because it is.

However, recently, it has been called to my attention by a potential employer that they do not share my sense of humor. Again. <–Follow the arrow for your test.

[this user’s profile is now set to private. fuckers.]

I just received my stimulus payment via direct deposit.
I only got $300. Better than nothing, I suppose.

Stone Temple Pilots: On Tour

I began bouncing off the walls when I heard that Stone Temple Pilots were reuniting and starting a new tour–effective immediately. Scott Weiland is in my Top 10 favorite rock vocalists. I made a point to stay up and watch the Stone Temple Pilots mini-promo-concert on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. Meanwhile, I had a Ticketmaster(hate them) browser window open with my mouse hovering over the “buy” button for STP tickets for 5/18/08 in Camden, NJ, wherever the fuck that is. I’ll figure it out later. I was that psyched.

Lights up.

The band nailed the opening lick. My little heart fluttered in anticipation of Scott’s Weiland’s masterful entrance, his unparalleled ability as a kinda fruity dude to lure you in with the melody and then cut your throat with the tattered edges of his voice.

Scott sang the first note.

My heart sank.

I closed the Ticketmaster window in my browser.

He sounded horrible.

It was pretty obvious that he was completely loaded on a mishmash-cocktail of shit that only rockstars can get their hands on. Either that, or he’s completely clean and his brain is completely scrambled from past abuse and multiple stints in rehab. I am not happy about this.

Thoughts of Brian Wilson come to mind:
“According to the 2006 Peter Ames Carlin biography of Wilson, Catch A Wave, by 1989 the rumor was that Brian either had a stroke or had done too many drugs and was permanently fried.”

Dear Mr. Scott Weiland:

Please pull your shit together. Your fans thank you in advance.

Best wishes,