Boyfriend and Girlfriend: A Story of Endearing Commandeering

Girlfriend: Where is my black pillow?

Me: The flat one?

Girlfriend: Yes.

Me: I’m using it for my mouse-pad now. I commandeered it.

Girlfriend: What?

Me: I commandeered your pillow.

Girlfriend: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: I’m not really sure, but in legal terms, I think it pretty much means that I just straight-up took your pillow and unless you have the proper means in place to take it back, then you’re totally screwed.

Girlfriend: Well then how do I commandeer my pillow back?

Me: I don’t know. I haven’t read that part yet but you might consider hiring a lawyer.

Girlfriend: You are such a jerk.


I’d like to nominate myself for “Best Headline Ever”.

“Endearing Commandeering”. Great premise for a song if I do say so myself.
Take it and run with it, Mr. Sondheim. I demand royalties. Call me.

*Nobody better steal my idea because, legally speaking, I’m pretty sure I will commandeer you.

Seriously, though… I heard Stephen Sondheim ties kids up in his basement and does weird things to them. No shit.


2 Responses

  1. You are correct sir, the title on this one was most excellent.

    Contents aren’t half bad either!

  2. @Todd: Why thank you. I think I’m going to make “commandeering” my new hobby.

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