Life Lesson: Strippers -vs.- Regular Girls

At my buddy’s bachelor party this weekend, I learned an important lesson about the difference between strippers and regular girls.

(Scene: Interior. A popular strip club in Manhattan, NYC):

A stripper is sitting on my lap and grinding her lady-parts onto my man-parts. I’ve heard the kids call this a lap-dance.  Being the gentleman that I am, I treated the lady with respect and looked her square in the eyes the entire time, making sure not to stare at her naked breasts which were rubbing on my nose. Her boobies smelled like sunshine, glee and baby powder, but I resisted their temptations. My instincts told me  that staring at this professional woman’s fun-bags would somehow demean her existence.

As it turns out, my instincts were entirely wrong. This became clear as the stripper says, totally flustered,

“Please just look at my tits, dude!”

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16 Responses

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  2. Um, the comment above is priceless.

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  5. damn funny….

  6. You should have said:

    “I AM looking at your tits, I just have one of those lazy eye deals where it doesn’t look like I’m looking at what I’m looking at.”

    She would start to say she’s sorry but then you’d look down at her breasts and interrupt with:

    “Does it look like I’m staring at your breasts now? Cause I’m really staring at your vagina.”

    Then start crying.

    Then be like, “nah I’m just kidding.” And then just look at her boobs like you should have done in the first place.

  7. maybe thats the equivalent to the hookers “no kissing on the mouth” rule?

  8. i think if you tipped enough, in the end, she wouldn’t care were you looked.

  9. Where can I find the best escorts in the Cook Islands? Is there a website for that?

  10. She was a bitch, she isn’t a typical stripper. i book strippers, they aren’t that bitchy, well actually some are, but I don’t deal with them. its sick how many 18 year olds are hitting me up for work. Thank jenna jameson and the economy, girls think stripping isn’t taboo and everyone needs more money today.

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  14. Strippers are not whores….

  15. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon every day.
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