Wherein I Face My Demons

I got a letter in the mail today. The letter was from the Internal Revenue Service, the IRS. I wondered why they might be contacting me.

Maybe they were making a donation because they’re fans of my blog. Maybe it was a late arriving holiday card. Maybe it was a “Thank You note” for… well, for just being me. As I was unaware of anyone ever receiving such a letter from the IRS, it became crystal clear in my mind, before reading the letter, that I am now completely and totally fucked, inside-out, for the foreseeable future.

I opened the letter.

I read the letter.

Yeah, I’m fucked. It turns out that the IRS has a few questions about a substantial portion of unreported income from my 2005 tax return. In all honesty, that’s just the tip of the iceberg and I’m sure they’ll figure that out soon enough, if they haven’t already.

Does anyone know of a publishing company that would be interested in optioning a book called “IRS: SOS!” wherein I chronicle my immanent demise at the hands of the tax man? It’s a cautionary tale of sorts. All proceeds will be sent directly to the IRS to clear my debt and save my ass from going to jail. Let me know. Seriously.

Does anyone know a good tax attorney that would be willing to work for a favorable review on a formerly famous blog that hardly anyone reads anymore? Let me know. Seriously.



3 Responses

  1. I remember seeing a professor of law talk about this very subject about the IRS wanting to speak to him.

    He replied that he would be more than happy to speak with the IRS about anything once they gave to him in writing that he would be given full immunity. He never heard back from the IRS.

    The basics behind the logic is if they are asking you questions they’re waiting for you to make yourself guilty by way of verbally admitting something – especially since they don’t ask questions of people who they don’t already think are already guilty.

    Remember your 5th Amendment rights.

    Here’s the link.


    Good luck!

  2. Oh man, good luck brother. I’ve had to fight with them before. I held them off for a while, but they won. I’d definitely get help if I were you.

  3. that sucks man. good luck.

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