Vote For Me! My First Photoshop Contest:!

1) Click this.  
2) Vote It As BEST: 

Yesterday,, among others,  suggested that it would have been a better idea for The Whitehouse to photoshop the controversial NY/NJ fly-over of Air Force One(+1) than to actually have the planes… ya know, actually  fly over, unannounced.  (I don’t agreee, but it’s a fun and novel idea in which I’m willing to induldge and participate.) invited readers to participate in a photoshop contest. They invited readers to photoshop Air Force One into a picture of their friends or family, New York City, or whatever, in an effort to lampoon the gaffe. I’ll gladly take this bait.


1) Click this.  
2) Vote It As BEST: 

Thanks so much.


Secret Low-Flying Planes in NYC: “Photo-op”, says Whitehouse.

This post is in regards to this news item:

As an official of the DoD, how do you explain two F-16s chasing a Boeing 747 through New York City, unannounced, and not cause a lasting panic?

Claim it was a “photo-op”.

I’m not sure about the aerial photos but the scene on the ground was an iconic photo-op. It’s a shame that everyone on the ground was too worried about dying to snap photos.

My account from the ground:

I had just dropped off my cell phone for repair in Harlem. I was told it would take about an hour to repair. I decided to take a bike ride down the West Side bike path to kill some time and take advantage of the direct sun rays. I looked up from the bike path and saw a 747 being followed by two F-16s up the Hudson River. I skidded to a stop.  I entered into a state of mind that I had never experienced. 

I think this is the point where my body somehow replaced my blood with adrenaline. It reminds me the story of the mother who lifted a car off of her child. I stood completely still and felt more focused than I ever had. I felt as if I’d doubled in size. My peripheral vision became integrated into my senses in a way I had never experienced. My hearing became sharp beyond explanation. My mind was processing all of this at an astounding speed. It was like the world was moving in slow motion but, at the same time, my brain was analyzing stimuli at an accelerated rate, thus giving me an exponential edge over any real-time threat. This is a level of consciousness which I had never before fathomed. Apologies for the following comparison but, yes, it was EXACTLY like The Matrix.

I stood motionless, listened and watched. There were several other New Yorkers around me who stood with the same posture, focused, motionless and ready. Ready to take any action necessary to protect what’s ours. It’s fucking show time, bitches.

An elderly Dominican man who was barbecuing with his family started screaming in Spanish and throwing anything he could get his hands on (chicken, plastic knives, BBQ sauce bottles)up into the air in a desperate and futile attempt to knock the plane out of the air. Don’t laugh. It seems funny now but he was dead fucking serious.

And we were made to feel this way for a photo-op? I don’t buy it.

Getting In (Blogging) Shape

Toward the end of my tenure at my former place of employment, I contacted a gym in the area about taking a tour and getting a trial membership. The gym was right down the street from my office, so it would have been convenient.

I got laid off from my job before I had a chance to visit the gym. Regardless, someone at the gym thinks that I came in and checked it out and sent me a follow-up style email and voicemail thanking for my visit and asking if I was ready to sign up.

Following was my response:

Hello Marc,

Thank you for your friendly email and voicemail, though I believe you have reached the wrong person.

I have not visited your gym to my recollection. However, I drink heavily so it is entirely possible that I did visit your gym and I simply don’t remember. Did I smell like very old beer? If so, that was probably me.

The economy is tanking and I have recently lost my job as a result, so I am not currently interested in a gym membership.

My old job was right down the street from your gym, which would have been very convenient. If I can get a new job in the same neighborhood, I would like to visit your gym (again?), as I could use some sort of exercise beyond lugging a case of PBR up the stairs of my fourth floor walkup everyday. 

Does your gym have a bar?

Thanks again,

P.S. Also, I am interested in a reliable Juice hookup as I have a poor work ethic and low tolerance for pain.

Wherein I Remember That I Have a Blog

I haven’t written anything on this site, my formerly world famous blog, for about six months now. Explanation to follow:

About six months ago, I landed a really great job on which I was hellbent on excelling and keeping.

With the kind of trouble this blog has brought me in the past, I decided it best to not write anymore.

Well, things have changed. Due to the tanking economy, I have lost my job.

As such, I will resume blogging as I see fit.

Cheers, everybody.