When I was in high school, I engineered and executed a method of torture specifically designed for substitute teachers using humming as the method of attack.
It was planned beforehand that I would sit in the center of the room. When the teacher started speaking, I would very quietly hum a single note which was only detectable by the persons sitting closest to me, the choir members of course. They would then begin to hum the note and the people closest to them would begin to hum the note and it would expand like a ripple effect throughout the room. When I heard the ripple reach the edges of the room, I would slightly alter the pitch and it would ripple just the same. From the teachers’ perspective, all the students were sitting upright and paying attention but the teacher was hearing an unexplainable, undulating surround-sound effect. That, and most of our faces were purple.
The winning substitute teacher lasted just shy of eight minutes before storming out of the room.
Enter, the Principal:
Principal: “What did you morons do this time?”
Students: “Nothing. That teacher was crazy.”
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